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current feeling : tired..exhausted..jaded..when will i see the light at the end of the tunnel?only god knows..i'm juz not normal i guess..

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apparently yesterday was my bday and not many ppl remembered it..kinda sad case but i dun blame anyone for that.kinda got a cake from my ns frens.kinda surprised but i wasn't touched at all..duno why..i juz feel tt bdays ar supposed to be special and every year i would be disappointed coz my bday alwaes seem so normal. present wise i didn't really get one from my fren except for my 'student'..really sad case..guess i'm back to my normal self..the ever so negative one..

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ippt!kinda having mixed emotions for this word today..though i failed my ippt for the 4th time this mth, i've improved quite abit and i believe i'm gonna pass it soon.surely running 9'25mins for 2.4km and jumping 239 cm isn't tt bad afterall but it's juz not good enough for ndu i guess..haiz..shall take it again on thurs and i might juz pass it on thurs..i hope....

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hmm..i juz realised tt being a tuition teacher isn't tt easy afterall.so far ppl who heard tt i'm actually teaching a fren jc chem is very surprised since i juz graduated from jc not long ago.i guess it's quite challenging for me n i really hope tt i've been a gd tutor so far.anyway today i thot another fren c maths and i spent like 4 hrs teaching just 3 chapters.feel tt it's kinda slow but guess it's not easy to absorb fully the formula.btw i've failed my ippt thrice this mth and i really wish i'll pass it real soon becoz RT is starting soon n i dun wanna join the so called TAF club.hmm..guess i'll haf to train really hard to meet the timing for 2.4 and also make the stupid jump.haiz..guess tt's life in ndu..zzz..will also be on podc course nxt mth..gonna have to settle all the dive gears soon.bother..

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guess this is turning out to be a online diary.anyway went back to camp finally after a long break. was kinda surprised tt i actually managed to maintain my running pace and i learnt sth very impt - that is how to jump further for my ippt.my friend actually said tt i already hit the 243cm target today and i hope i will be able to do juz tt tml as i will be taking ippt on a regular basis until i pass.by the way to my surprise i didn't really lose control over my emotions(my grandma passed away last thurs)in camp and i hope tt i'll recover n learn from such a sad incident.

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basically spent the whole day idling..went to the library and chanced upon this interesting book called 'the monk who sold his ferrari'.if i'm not wrong i think it's a spiritual book which tells u how u can improve ur life physically, mentally and spiritually. the author does it by creating fictional characters and i believe the parable will be something impt and good for me to learn.there are 7 pointers to better ur life n i've juz read the first one which is to be positive. always view a glass of water as half full and not half empty might sound cliche to anyone but to really do it is another thing.shall write more abt this book as i read further in the near future..

Why i started this blog

Actually i started this blog due to the death of my beloved grandma. As i still mourn over the death of her, i do believe it is always through difficult times that one really learns to be a better person and mature. the recent wake has made me realise and seen a few things:-

• life is short. u never know what's going to happen the next day. This might sound cliche to u but many of us juz take it for granted rather than cherish what we have.
• agree or not, i believe the world evolves around one word- MONEY. Though love is still in the air, money is what decides your status and ur ability to do certain things.( shall not elaborate)
• religion is powerful - up to this point of my life, i'm still a free thinker and am glad that i am one. to me, religion is like a double edged sword - yes a double edged one becoz it can also do u harm other than do u good. most people try to avoid discussing abt their own different religions and i can understand why.
• it's better to haf ONE gd friend than many friends. throughout the whole wake, the person who impressed me the most is my grandma's friend who's been there everyday. she really did alot of things for us like cooking dinner for us, buying and doing flowers for my grandma and simply just telling us to be strong. despite being close friends she didn't even shed a tear in front of us. really don't know how i can thank her.

Intro

hi if u still do not know me well enough(or at all), i think i should intro myself..i'm definitely a quiet person, more of a listener than a speaker becoz i do not believe that whoever speaks more should be deem as being more sociable. i would say tt i'm quite determined though i don't always do well in whichever i wish to excel in, be it sports or academic or something monetary. i'm quite a 'net' person..used to be chat online for hours everyday until i gradually got sick of it and simply ran out of ideas to chat with my net friends. Speaking abt net frens, i'm juz glad to have known a few veri gd ppl here, mainly u, u , u and u..haha(u should know who u are..if u don't that's too bad). Well tt's all for now..shall update this section asap..thanks for reading..