240905

feeling lost as usual..gonna have to stay in with effect from nxt week coz still haven manage to pass my ippt..so irritating man..if only i was in some other units..would have gotten 200 bucks with minimal effort la..zzz..what's with the diver's gold standard man..dumb..
have been running quite abit lately..kinda happy with my improvement but i still think it's not enough for me to pass..haiz..actually dun really mind staying in as long as i have place and bed to rest n of coz sleep on..bother...
kinda miss her..not tt i still like her but i miss her coz i juz do..sometimes i juz duno whether crossing paths with her is a gd or bad thing...bother bother...haiz..
kinda realise tt everyone seems or sounds so jaded with living/work..but they juz carry on with their life perhaps taking a break when they deem it's time..why is life so tiring?the human brain is indeed intriguing if u ask me..i'm juz bored..period.

ny,

out

180905

i shall talk abt my father for now..
i juz cant communicate with him..n i really mean it..literally..we juz dun speak the same language..surprised?i'm surprised too..tt such a father actually exist!haiz..i've been living with this hokkien father of mine who doesn't understand much abt me..vice versa..i know he works hard and earns little..he's very fillial to my grandma but i juz dun understand him..maybe if u've seen my father u would know how i feel but one day i think i'm juz gonna shout at him coz he doesn't understand the words tt ar coming out of my mouth even tho i'm trying my very best to speak hokkien..omg..seriously i believe tt's why i'm such a quiet or rather introvert person..seriously how can someone without 'fatherly' love be so cheerful n all..life sucks..it really does..anyway he's so called a christian now but how much does he really understand abt christianity?i really doubt his faith..guess he's juz following the crowd since my grandma n my aunt are christians too..if he cant even understand my hokkien how is he going to understand the preaching n all..maybe sometimes i shld pity him too..he is so illiterate tt he dun even know how to use a hp..can someone pls help him?hope his GOD will..(whoever's reading i hope u'll understand me better by den..if not..so be it)really envy those with a happy family..really do..

ny,

out

180905

stupid rain..made me miss soccer again..life seems to be so routine for me..i juz hate it man..

what's with earning money man..everything is so abt money..success is afterall a gauge of how wealthy or how poor u are..i dun wanna be poor!but i dun wanna be rich too..kinda hate it when ppl talk to me abt money..n for tt guy who kept asking me abt my future..f*** u..i'm juz jaded..

try imagining a world without money..u cant?i cant too..bother..

ny,

out

100905

mrt station = no rubbish bin..why?zzzzzzzzzzzz..

current feeling - lost

slept like i've nv slept for a few weeks today..feel like a pig..

back hurts..duno why..

040905

seems like project superstar has been the talking point in singapore..so the blind won..so?to me i feel it's damn 'gp'..but i really cant be bothered as to who wins it coz it doesn't really concern us..does it?but if it doesn't really concern me den why am i putting this up..haha..how weird..

had steamboat buffet for dinner at marina bay yesterday...realised tt man is cruel..sounds childish but sadly it's brutally true..the prawns were alive n cooked..i mean why ar we so cruel..has our superiority in the world done us good or harm?only judgement day will tell..

anyway met up with this very interesting and clever speaker cum fren of mine today..nv fails to impress me with his words n i really wish him all the best tho our interests differ..

ny,

out